I talk a bit about it here, but part of the problem we have in assessing whether First Men society was feudal is that a lot of the sources (although not all) are non-contemporaneous and written down by Andals who were bringing something more recognizably feudal with them (iron armor, better castles, knights, and lots ot feuding warlords, kings, lords, and knights all struggling to claim their own bits of land).
Based on what we learn from the WOIAF and the ways in which the culture of the mountain clans of the Vale or the wildlings beyond the Wall have maintained certain aspects of First Men culture with as little admixture from the Andals, I think “the ancient Kings of the First Men [had] far more in common with Agamemnon or Hammurabi than they would with Edward III.” Consider, for example the Thenns:
“The Thenns were not like other free folk, though. The Magnar claimed to be the last of the First Men, and ruled with an iron hand. His little land of Thenn was a high mountain valley hidden amongst the northernmost peaks of the Frostfangs, surrounded by cave dwellers, Hornfoot men, giants, and the cannibal clans of the ice rivers. Ygritte said the Thenns were savage fighters, and that their Magnar was a god to them. Jon could believe that. Unlike Jarl and Harma and Rattleshirt, Styr commanded absolute obedience from his men, and that discipline was no doubt part of why Mance had chosen him to go over the Wall.”
“Aye, my lady. The Thenns have lords and laws.” They know how to kneel. “They mine tin and copper for bronze, forge their own arms and armor instead of stealing it. A proud folk, and brave…”
Think about the way that a lot of the Heroes who founded Great Houses have a connection to the divine – whether we’re talking about Brandon Stark learning the wisdom of the Old Gods, or Durran the First’s war with the gods of sea and storm, or Garth Greenhand being a fertility god – and I think you can see a model of early First Men kings who were a lot like the Magnar of Thenn. Add onto that the way in which the clans of the Mountains of the Moon or the Northern hill country operate more on the basis of “fictive kinship” than strict hierarchy between the social orders of feudalism, and I think you have a good picture of what the early First Men societies looked like.
However, it’s not like there was nothing between the king and the rank-and-filer, as we see in WOIAF, there was a process in pretty much every kingdom where the petty kings were beaten down by stronger kings and made to submit, initially as vassal kings to high kings and then eventually as lords to kings.
As to polygamy, well it’s got advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is that you can marry into multiple families at once, which allows for more dynastic alliances. The disadvantage is that you then have heightened competition within the royal dynasty as to which half-sibling will succeed, which can potentially lead to infighting. This is why having some combination of primogeniture and acclamation is quite useful.
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