I was talking to a friend of mine who has had a longstanding interest in how medieval/renaissance warfare developed into modern warfare, and the stumbling blocks/obstacles encountered along the way. As I understand it, the standard bearer was not the same as the messenger who would speak to the opponent’s side to request either a parley, determine terms of surrender, etc. These messengers were not to be harmed under any circumstances, but that did not apply to standard bearers at all. Correct?

Absolutely. A messenger or herald was considered untouchable, because they were a diplomatic noncombatant. A standard bearer was a soldier and was all-too-touchable. 

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