1. Don’t know, exactly. Tradition so far is that it’s all of the lords in Westeros, full stop.
2. Well, traditionally they have, but you can’t look after your fief and attend, so if there were a permanent system, you’d need some mechanism of sending a representative – probably a younger brother or son or an uncle or cousin.
3. Probably not. If medieval to early modern Parliaments are any judge, they’d meet for a couple of months (fifty days being the minimum under the Triennial Act of 1641) out of the year, because people need to travel to get there and back, see their families, etc.
4. Well, if someone on the Small Council is a lord by right as opposed to by courtesy, they have a right to sit on the Great Council.