Considering their disdain for higher authority and refusal to kneel, how would you as Lord of the North or even King of Westeros go about settling the Wildlings south of the wall? And moreover how would you get them to obey you and integrate them into the feudal society that they’re being placed in?

The way they’re doing it now isn’t half bad – namely hostages and marriages. Because the wildlings respect kinship even if they don’t respect law. 

I’d use religion more, since there’s a shared foundation there. Maybe even sponsor the teaching of the Old Tongue as a way to build a shared Northern identity.