Perhaps people are still arguing about the Red Weddings excessiveness because no one’s given much thought to “reasonable” alternatives. Lets say you are an alternative Walder Frey. You’re the same loathsome man who wants extremely satisfying disproportionate revenge upon everyone who has ever slighted you, but you have just enough good caution to decide against breaking a major taboo like guest right. How would you do in Robb Stark and the Tullys, raise up your family, and laugh about it?