nobodysuspectsthebutterfly:

racefortheironthrone:

I am well aware that Borrell thinks that Jon Snow’s mother is a Sistertonian – could have sworn he used the name Wylla, but if I’m wrong, cheerfully retracted. I’m saying that Borrell got that idea in a “Telephone Game” style misremembering/hearing because Ned Stark helped to spread the story around, because he wanted people believing cover stories rather than thinking about Lyanna.
And I think it’s significant that Ned feels and acts differently about Ashara than Wylla.

There’s the trick, though. Ned doesn’t feel anything about Ashara at all. She never appears in his inner monologue. The only time she’s mentioned in his narrative is when Cersei throws her in his
face (during the scene when he’s telling her to get herself and her kids out of town, he’s telling Robert). And Ned doesn’t react to Ashara’s name
then, and doesn’t even think of her later.
Regarding how Ned acts when people talk about Ashara, this is it:

Catelyn
heard her maids repeating tales they heard from the lips of her
husband’s soldiers. […] It had taken her a fortnight to marshal her
courage, but finally, in bed one night, Catelyn had asked her husband
the truth of it, asked him to his face.
That was the only time in all
their years that Ned had ever frightened her. “Never ask me about Jon,”
he said, cold as ice. “He is my blood, and that is all you need to
know. And now I will learn where you heard that name, my lady.” She had
pledged to obey; she told him; and from that day on, the whispering had
stopped, and Ashara Dayne’s name was never heard in Winterfell again.

Literally that’s the only thing. Now, this is how he acts when people talk about Wylla:

“What was her name, that common girl of yours? Becca? No, she was one of mine, gods love her, black hair and these sweet big eyes, you could drown in them. Yours was … Aleena? No. You told me once. Was it Merryl? You know the one I mean, your bastard’s mother?”
“Her name was Wylla,” Ned replied with cool courtesy, “and I would sooner not speak of her.”
“Wylla. Yes.” The king grinned. “She must have been a rare wench if she could make Lord Eddard Stark forget his honor, even for an hour. You never told me what she looked like…”
Ned’s mouth tightened in anger. “Nor will I. Leave it be, Robert, for the love you say you bear me. I dishonored myself and I dishonored Catelyn, in the sight of gods and men.”

And what does he do? He coldly says the name only when pressed, then gets angry when Robert pushes for more and asks him to drop the subject. I don’t see how that’s so much different that it means that Ned and Ashara must have been in love. 
I don’t doubt that Ned might have cared about Ashara, and was concerned for her honor. And it’s very likely that Ashara was involved in the R+L=J coverup somehow, which would have been another reason to stop people talking about her. But it’s a long long trip from the one time Ned talks about Ashara (or doesn’t talk about her, actually) to secret betrothals and true love separated by war, even if they danced at Harrenhal.
(BTW, if Barristan does think the father of Ashara’s baby was Brandon, I wonder what evidence led him to that conclusion.)

I still don’t buy it. I don’t think GRRM puts Ashara into the KOTL story and puts Edric Dayne into the story for no reason, and I think those contexts should influence how we interpret Ned’s behavior in AGOT. Hell, I’ll put $20 on it the same way I did with A+J!=T. 

As for why Ser Barristan thinks it’s a Stark – I think Ned left behind some garment with Stark livery on it, and Barristan jumped to the same conclusion as the fandom has, based on Brandon’s rep.